I worry that for many people, one overriding desire is to be left alone. Obviously there is a balance to be struck here - few or no people want to be really alone permanently. But people guard their alone time. And kids are a serious tax on that -- young kids in particular do not leave their…
I worry that for many people, one overriding desire is to be left alone. Obviously there is a balance to be struck here - few or no people want to be really alone permanently. But people guard their alone time. And kids are a serious tax on that -- young kids in particular do not leave their parents be.
I think Bryan is right that there's more joy to be found in relating to other people than most realize. Modern society has swung too far towards atomization and a lack of close personal relationships. But those relationships can indeed be hard.
Oh, and on a different topic -- the fact that we can now have a meaningful option to have sex without having kids is historically anomalous.* Healthy young people generally want sex (the desire manifests differently in men versus women, but both are so feel sexual desire). For most of history, this would naturally lead to kids. Broad access to mostly-effective birth control puts us in uncharted territory.
*I am aware that birth control methods existed historically, but aside from straight abstinence, they were significantly less reliable than modern methods.
Good piece; there is a lot to think about here.
I worry that for many people, one overriding desire is to be left alone. Obviously there is a balance to be struck here - few or no people want to be really alone permanently. But people guard their alone time. And kids are a serious tax on that -- young kids in particular do not leave their parents be.
I think Bryan is right that there's more joy to be found in relating to other people than most realize. Modern society has swung too far towards atomization and a lack of close personal relationships. But those relationships can indeed be hard.
> I worry that for many people, one overriding desire is to be left alone.
To rot and die doomscrolling and consuming BS social media content
Oh, and on a different topic -- the fact that we can now have a meaningful option to have sex without having kids is historically anomalous.* Healthy young people generally want sex (the desire manifests differently in men versus women, but both are so feel sexual desire). For most of history, this would naturally lead to kids. Broad access to mostly-effective birth control puts us in uncharted territory.
*I am aware that birth control methods existed historically, but aside from straight abstinence, they were significantly less reliable than modern methods.
The idea that they were less reliable in practice is false. It was spread by sex educators trying to scare kids away from sex.
Observe the TFR in France starting in the late 1800s
Pre-moderns knew how to not conceive