I have seven, and beneath the surface level "are you insane?" and "are you super-religious?" (we're not religious at all) questions, there's always a stigma associated with big families, the idea that they can't control their children as well as people with two. Luckily, there are several other families who have five or six young kids in…
I have seven, and beneath the surface level "are you insane?" and "are you super-religious?" (we're not religious at all) questions, there's always a stigma associated with big families, the idea that they can't control their children as well as people with two. Luckily, there are several other families who have five or six young kids in our town, and we look out for each other. But I always feel judged.
When a parent with 1-2 kids sees such a big family, it's an unsolicited reminder of their own decision against having more kids. And (for many people) that is one of those decisions they prefer to keep walled off from reconsideration, which is easier to do around other small families, and harder to do when your pack of howl-at-the-moon kids is running all over town withholding external validation, lol. Fwiw I think your happiness with those trade-offs will increase over time, cheers.
Funny thing is, I don't remotely care if you have 0 kids or 10, and neither does anyone in my big family friends. You do you--I'm too busy cleaning up spit up from the youngers and cheering on the olders to worry about someone else's choices.
I have seven, and beneath the surface level "are you insane?" and "are you super-religious?" (we're not religious at all) questions, there's always a stigma associated with big families, the idea that they can't control their children as well as people with two. Luckily, there are several other families who have five or six young kids in our town, and we look out for each other. But I always feel judged.
I'm always fascinated by people without a religious community who have a lot of kids. How do you do it without social support?
With a massive chip on my shoulder and an acknowledgment that most days I'm pretty happy with the trade-offs I've made.
When a parent with 1-2 kids sees such a big family, it's an unsolicited reminder of their own decision against having more kids. And (for many people) that is one of those decisions they prefer to keep walled off from reconsideration, which is easier to do around other small families, and harder to do when your pack of howl-at-the-moon kids is running all over town withholding external validation, lol. Fwiw I think your happiness with those trade-offs will increase over time, cheers.
Funny thing is, I don't remotely care if you have 0 kids or 10, and neither does anyone in my big family friends. You do you--I'm too busy cleaning up spit up from the youngers and cheering on the olders to worry about someone else's choices.