As a (very) new father, so much of the reason people don't want kids has recently become obvious! Sleepless nights, no partner intimacy, more arguments, a big chunk of your freedom taken away, less time for other hobbies, and basically no plus-side except a cute, helpless, soulless little thing that can only communicate through wailing..…
As a (very) new father, so much of the reason people don't want kids has recently become obvious! Sleepless nights, no partner intimacy, more arguments, a big chunk of your freedom taken away, less time for other hobbies, and basically no plus-side except a cute, helpless, soulless little thing that can only communicate through wailing... and perhaps old ladies being a bit nicer to you for a few minutes a day.
Even as someone who: 1) Likes kids more than my median friend (I was a teacher for 5 years, and grew to like even the shittiest of the kids); 2) Is more "meaning-driven" and less hedonic than my median friend, and 3) has more parental/in-law pressure to have kids than my median friend, it still feels... perhaps not foolish, but just an odd choice.
As a choice, it feels less like getting married or deciding to go to do a masters degree, and more like committing to converting 100 acres of Amazonian farmland into jungle over a 15 year period. As in, I'm sure it will be interesting, fun (after a couple of years...) and a new challenge that might make my life more meaningful, but it in no way seems like a normal or obvious choice.
This probably explains why the birth rate will continue to decline. It will just seem like an increasingly strange, unintuitive choice to have kids.
I actually found more time for my hobbies when I had a newborn. All she did was sit there, so I could just play videogames all day with her in my lap. Occasionally I paused the game to change her, feed her, or do tummy time. It was awesome. I also got a lot of reading done and watched the highest grossing movies of the 1990s, and saw all the Bond films.
As a (very) new father, so much of the reason people don't want kids has recently become obvious! Sleepless nights, no partner intimacy, more arguments, a big chunk of your freedom taken away, less time for other hobbies, and basically no plus-side except a cute, helpless, soulless little thing that can only communicate through wailing... and perhaps old ladies being a bit nicer to you for a few minutes a day.
Even as someone who: 1) Likes kids more than my median friend (I was a teacher for 5 years, and grew to like even the shittiest of the kids); 2) Is more "meaning-driven" and less hedonic than my median friend, and 3) has more parental/in-law pressure to have kids than my median friend, it still feels... perhaps not foolish, but just an odd choice.
As a choice, it feels less like getting married or deciding to go to do a masters degree, and more like committing to converting 100 acres of Amazonian farmland into jungle over a 15 year period. As in, I'm sure it will be interesting, fun (after a couple of years...) and a new challenge that might make my life more meaningful, but it in no way seems like a normal or obvious choice.
This probably explains why the birth rate will continue to decline. It will just seem like an increasingly strange, unintuitive choice to have kids.
You are in the midst of the hardest part of the journey. It will get better
And if you create a sibling (or more) for your kid, it gets even easier
And sometimes you get lucky and get a newborn who sleeps through the night at 4 weeks. Good luck!
I actually found more time for my hobbies when I had a newborn. All she did was sit there, so I could just play videogames all day with her in my lap. Occasionally I paused the game to change her, feed her, or do tummy time. It was awesome. I also got a lot of reading done and watched the highest grossing movies of the 1990s, and saw all the Bond films.
Agree during the day. How was her sleep at night?