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Jim Dalrymple II's avatar

The "do you have kids" response seems both completely wrong, and a very good explanation of what's going on. I have kids, and it has improved my life and led me to want more kids. I think people who have kids understand the downsides, but also I do think most parents recognize that on net kids are worth it. But at the same time, there's sort of like a propaganda war that takes kids as self-evidently bad.

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JRS's avatar

I always remember the fake commercial going around with the 4 year old melting down at the grocery and at the end it says "use condoms." You never see a family enjoying a nice picnic and it say "don't get FOMO."

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Performative Bafflement's avatar

Right - because people have loss aversion, and downsides matter more emotionally and are more salient than upsides.

So people would happily give up 2, or 5, or 10 picnics with kids to avoid one public meltdown.

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Benjamin Scott's avatar

I, personally, wouldn't. I would take 5 or 10 happy outdoor trips with my favorite young relatives (no kids yet) in exchange for 1 Walmart meltdown. Maybe I would take 2 for 1. Hard to say. Probably.

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Manuel del Rio's avatar

Dunno... It feels that most responses from people who have kids are false because there's a high social cost to saying 'actually, I had children and it made my life worse, and didn't give it a meaning it didn't already have'.

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