I am not sure that "cramping lifestyle" is a reason people don't have more than two kids. Once you have a child or two, adding another one doesn't really change how late you can stay out, whether you can work eighty hours a week, what parties you can go to, and whether you have to get up in the middle of the night.
I am not sure that "cramping lifestyle" is a reason people don't have more than two kids. Once you have a child or two, adding another one doesn't really change how late you can stay out, whether you can work eighty hours a week, what parties you can go to, and whether you have to get up in the middle of the night.
Rather, I think that without a moral framework (e.g. religion) telling them to have a lot of kids, a modern's main reasons to have children are biological drive, emptiness/loneliness, and perhaps desire to have family and a legacy in old age and after death. People feel these are all satisfied nearly as well by one or two children as by five or six. So, since children cost time and money, people have no real reason to continue past one or two.
Personally, I think that's a mistake. I suspect most 60 year olds looking back on life would rather have had four or five children and spent more time at home than have had one or two and spent more time working or going to bars or on vacations. It's just difficult for young people to think that way, and so it doesn't factor into their decisions about number of kids.
I think your first paragraph is a bit overdone, but whatever. There was a phrase I heard once that I think gets more to the heart of the matter.
"You are as happy as your least happy child."
I think that is double plus mega true for many people the more successful they get. The idea of any of their children being downwardly mobile (a certainty if they are already high status) is terrifying. And of course we know that progressives are more depressed and mentally ill. This explains to me a big part of why TFR splits dramatically as IQ increases. High IQ conservatives care less about this, and high IQ liberals care a lot.
One kid gives you "immortality". Two kids gives the first a playmate and you a spare.
More kids doesn't give as much. At least it doesn't give as much to the progressive mindset. You've really got to have a totally different outlook to get more out of 3+ kids.
Typical parents here spend tons of time on their kids, take them to extracurricular activities, have family vacations and trips every year, do play dates and kid social events every weekend. Raising kids is an enormous amount of work, and two kid versus four is an enormous difference. Having only two elementary school kids versus also having two babies is a big deal and absolutely does inhibit adult lifestyles.
Even Caplan himself only has four kids. That is more than his career-centric peers, but for being such a vocal champion of having kids, that isn't that many. Why not five? Because it's a lot of work and money. I'm curious how much child rearing help Caplan gets from his wife and family. All of the high quality parents I know have 2-3 children and say they don't want to start over with babies, it's too much work, and they are right that it really is a ton of work to add another baby.
I also agree that most older adults would probably be happier if they had had more children in the past.
I am not sure that "cramping lifestyle" is a reason people don't have more than two kids. Once you have a child or two, adding another one doesn't really change how late you can stay out, whether you can work eighty hours a week, what parties you can go to, and whether you have to get up in the middle of the night.
Rather, I think that without a moral framework (e.g. religion) telling them to have a lot of kids, a modern's main reasons to have children are biological drive, emptiness/loneliness, and perhaps desire to have family and a legacy in old age and after death. People feel these are all satisfied nearly as well by one or two children as by five or six. So, since children cost time and money, people have no real reason to continue past one or two.
Personally, I think that's a mistake. I suspect most 60 year olds looking back on life would rather have had four or five children and spent more time at home than have had one or two and spent more time working or going to bars or on vacations. It's just difficult for young people to think that way, and so it doesn't factor into their decisions about number of kids.
I think your first paragraph is a bit overdone, but whatever. There was a phrase I heard once that I think gets more to the heart of the matter.
"You are as happy as your least happy child."
I think that is double plus mega true for many people the more successful they get. The idea of any of their children being downwardly mobile (a certainty if they are already high status) is terrifying. And of course we know that progressives are more depressed and mentally ill. This explains to me a big part of why TFR splits dramatically as IQ increases. High IQ conservatives care less about this, and high IQ liberals care a lot.
One kid gives you "immortality". Two kids gives the first a playmate and you a spare.
More kids doesn't give as much. At least it doesn't give as much to the progressive mindset. You've really got to have a totally different outlook to get more out of 3+ kids.
Typical parents here spend tons of time on their kids, take them to extracurricular activities, have family vacations and trips every year, do play dates and kid social events every weekend. Raising kids is an enormous amount of work, and two kid versus four is an enormous difference. Having only two elementary school kids versus also having two babies is a big deal and absolutely does inhibit adult lifestyles.
Even Caplan himself only has four kids. That is more than his career-centric peers, but for being such a vocal champion of having kids, that isn't that many. Why not five? Because it's a lot of work and money. I'm curious how much child rearing help Caplan gets from his wife and family. All of the high quality parents I know have 2-3 children and say they don't want to start over with babies, it's too much work, and they are right that it really is a ton of work to add another baby.
I also agree that most older adults would probably be happier if they had had more children in the past.