The Protest: A Socratic Dialogue

The Scene: Socrates is watching a massive protest of students at the School of Athens. Elektra, a protest leader, and Leonidas, a merchant, notice Socrates furrowing his brow in puzzlement.

Leonidas: [approaches Socrates] Aha, Socrates. Looks you don’t like these idiots any more than I do!

Socrates: [slightly startled] Good day, Leonidas. Why do you call them idiots?

Elektra: [overhearing] Idiots? We’re idiots to care about our unjust war against Persia?

Socrates: [politely] Oh, hello Elektra. Have you already met Leonidas? I was just asking him to explain his negative assessment of the intelligence of your compatriots. May I hear his response?

Elektra: [rolling her eyes] Fine.

Socrates: [shrugs] Most gracious of you, Elektra. So Leonidas, you were about to tell me about the protestors’ idiocy.

Leonidas: [scoffs in Elektra’s direction] You’ve got that right. Serious students are busy learning engineering and mathematics. The ones who show up at protests are the dregs.

Elektra: [angry] Hey, you can’t…

Socrates: [stops her] If you please, Elektra. Leonidas, you seem to be blending several distinct claims. The first, I gather, is simply that engineering and mathematics students are more intelligent than other students, and less prone to protest.

Leonidas: Truly.

Socrates: As it turns out, I’ve reviewed our admission scrolls. You are correct on both counts. But this hardly shows that the protesting students are idiots.

Leonidas: Why not?

Socrates: Most obviously, because even less intelligent students are still well above average in intelligence.

Leonidas: [annoyed] I’m not talking about book learning! I’m talking about common sense.

Socrates: [puzzled] We have strong evidence that engineering and mathematics students are more intelligent, but what exactly is the evidence that they have more common sense?

Leonidas: [frustated] Because they’re not wasting their time protesting!

Socrates: Is doing anything other than investing in your future career a waste of time? Do you object when students spectate at the Olympics?

Leonidas: No, why would I?

Socrates: What if students ministered to wounded Athenian veterans? Is that a “waste of time” you would condemn?

Leonidas: Of course not. Helping our wounded warriors is wonderful.

Socrates: Then what exactly makes these protests a waste of time in your view?

Leonidas: [grumbles]

Socrates: Perhaps Elektra could enlighten us. Does your protesting have a purpose, and if so, what is it?

Elektra: [smug] Yes, there’s a purpose. To end Athens’ unjust war against Persia.

Socrates: [intrigued] And how will your protests accomplish this?

Elektra: [confident] By educating the broader Athenian population.

Leonidas: [fuming] Son of Hades, must we listen this drivel?!

Socrates: [listening closely] Patience, Leonidas. Further conversation is required to determine whether her words are indeed drivel. [pauses until Leonidas settles down] Elektra, I am part of the broader Athenian population. Please educate me.

Elektra: [warily] Athens is fully to blame for this unjust war. The Persians are merely fighting for what is theirs!

Socrates: [surprised] I have been following the Athenian-Persian conflict for decades, yet it never seemed to me like either side was fully to blame. It is remarkable that one as young as you could have sifted through the totality of the historical record and reached such a definitive conclusion.

Elektra: Well, if you knew the history, you’d agree with me.

Socrates: That is wonderful to learn. Would you mind walking me through the events of the Anatolian incursion seventeen years ago, so I may finally understand what I ought to think about those tragic events?

Elektra: [speechless] Well, there was like an Athenian force there, and they were oppressing the indigenous Persians…

Socrates: [eyebrows raised] Unless I am sorely mistaken, the indigenous people of Anatolia aren’t Persian. And it was the Persians who were ruling them at the time.

Elektra: The point is that the Athenians bear full responsibility for the conflict.

Socrates: Wouldn’t you need to know the historical details to make such a claim?

Elektra: [distrustful] It sounds like you’re an apologist for genocide.

Socrates: Perhaps, but not intentionally. Question: If you wish to educate others, is it not necessary that you know significantly more than they do?

Elektra: [furrows her brow] Of course.

Socrates: Yet if I may be so bold, you seem to know even less than I do about the conflict you’re protesting. I know little, yet you know even less.

Leonidas: [triumphant] So they are idiots!

Socrates: [annoyed] Let’s not jump to conclusions, Leonidas. Though I do have to wonder: Elektra, would you consider yourself a humble woman?

Elektra: [taken aback] A humble woman of the people, yes.

Socrates: Yet you are a leader in these protests. Would it be safe to say that you are better-informed about the Athenian-Persian conflict than most of your fellow protesters?

Elektra: [pause] I’ve spent a lot more time on this, so… yes.

Socrates: I notice that the protestors keep chanting, “From the mountains to the sea.” To which mountains and which sea do they refer?

Elektra: [confidently] The Zagros Mountains and and Mediterranean Sea.

Socrates: [curiously] What fraction of your fellow protestors would give the same response?

Elektra: [dismissive] Does it matter?

Socrates: Humor me. Would you mind calling over ten of your compatriots? [Elektra complies, and Socrates quizzes the crowd. Zero out of the ten know both the relevant mountain range and sea.]

Leonidas: [laughs contemptuously] Like I said, idiots.

Elektra: They may not know the details, but they know right from wrong.

Socrates: Are these mere “details”? The Anatolians, for example, reside in the aforementioned region. Why is it so clearly right to place them under Persian rule?

Elektra: Historically, it belongs to Persia.

Socrates: Truly? Can you walk me through the early history of the Persian people?

Elektra: [annoyed] That’s not important. What matters is what the Athenians are doing now.

Socrates: I am again puzzled. When I ask you to explain why the Persians are in the right, you refer me to history. But when I ask about the history, you refer me to what is happening now.

Elektra: Look, Athenians are killing Persians as we speak. We don’t have time for remedial education. We have to act.

Socrates: We all have to make decisions in the face of imperfect information. But the vast majority of your protestors seem to know next to nothing.

Leonidas: [pleased] Idiots, idiots, idiots!

Elektra: Why don’t you quiz Leonidas, Socrates? I bet he knows even less than me.

Socrates: I suspect you are correct, Elektra.

Leonidas: [suddenly displeased] Hey! Don’t compare me to these idiots.

Elektra: [angry] Stop calling us “idiots”! We’re idealists.

Socrates: I, too, am an idealist. I believe, for example, that I should calmly weigh arguments and evidence before drawing major conclusions.

Elektra: [sarcastic] A noble ideal, which ensures that you’ll stand on the sidelines of history forever.

Socrates: [calmly] Is it not better to stand on the sidelines than be an active villain?

Elektra: [enraged] The mask is finally off! You support Athenian oppression! I might have known.

Leonidas: [smirking] See, Socrates? “Rationally conversing” with idiots is a waste of time.

Socrates: [pensive] Honestly, I’ve found both of you to be disappointing interlocutors.

Leonidas: [defensive] Me?

Socrates: [candid] I’m afraid so. You’ve never seriously considered the possibility that the protesters’ moral criticism of we Athenians is correct. Instead, you just mock their low intelligence, lack of common sense, and ignorance.

Leonidas: Are you saying I’m not right?!

Socrates: By absolute standards? Definitely. Compared to most of humanity? Unclear.

Elektra: [sarcastic] Socrates makes friends wherever he goes.

Socrates: If I were good at making friends, I wouldn’t be facing public trial next month. But despite the weakness of his arguments, Leonidas’ fault-finding should disturb you, Elektra.

Elektra: [hostile] And why is that?

Socrates: Because your views are strong, the issue is complex, and your evidence weak. And holding strong views on complex issues with weak evidence is blameworthy.

Elektra: [incredulous] So we’re worse than Leonidas?

Socrates: That is the conclusion to which I am inclined. Leonidas correctly senses the chasm between the deep knowledge you claim to have and the shallow knowledge you actually possess. To poetically overstate, at least Leonidas knows that you and your compatriots know nothing.

Elektra: Unlike him, at least we care.

Socrates: Did you know that Leonidas donates generously to orphans? Unlike you, however, he has good reason to believe that his assistance actually improves the world. If you refuse to carefully and calmly study the Athenian-Persian conflict, you should focus your philanthropic efforts on a simple cause like Leonidas does.

Elektra: And just let Athenian soldiers keep committing genocide?

Socrates: If you carefully and calmly studied the conflict, you would, at minimum, realize that both sides have done considerable evil.

Elektra: And two wrongs make a right?

Socrates: Not at all. But the realization that both sides have done considerable evil — and will continue to do further evil as long as the conflict endures — is still the beginning of wisdom.

Elektra: What wisdom?

Socrates: That Athenians and Persians should not merely cease hostilities, but agree to a permanent peace.

Elektra: Peace with Athens? On what terms?!

Socrates: Given this long and horrible history, I suggest both sides simply embrace the status quo.

Elektra: But that’s not fair. In fact, it’s monstrous!

Socrates: Unfortunately, there is no right way to right the wrongs of the past. Innocent people keep getting caught in the crossfire, and always will. Making lasting peace without further dispute is the least-bad alternative.

Leonidas: [confused] If that’s what you think, why aren’t you out there with the students protesting for peace?

Socrates: Superficially, because I don’t want to associate with such anti-intellectual approaches to ideas. Fundamentally, though, because I deny that they are “protesting for peace.” The sad truth is that they are protesting for war in the name of peace.

Elektra: [stunned] What an outrageous accusation!

Socrates: Really? The Persians are losing badly. Their people are suffering. Should they surrender now, and try to get the best terms they can?

Elektra: No, they should keep fighting for the final defeat of Athenian oppression.

Socrates: So perhaps my accusation is not so outrageous after all. But in any case, I should depart. After all, I have a class to teach.

Elektra: Haven’t you heard? Due to our protests, all classes are cancelled.

Socrates: [mildly shocked] Perhaps your protesters would like to hear a more philosophical approach to these issues?

Elektra: [triumphant] Not a chance, old man. Not a chance.

Leonidas: [shrugs] Going my way, Socrates?

Socrates: [shrugs] Well, there’s little point staying here. [They depart.]