Staying within economics, the contract implied in marriage is very hard to enforce, so being married for your money is a problem. Most people want to be loved, not just now but later as well. If someone can marry you and get access to your money and then do whatever, why believe they will be a good companion or do any of the other things we would expect from someone who loves us? A spouse for whom being with you in their benefit from the marriage is more likely to treat you well, or at least be pleasant to spend the next 60 odd years of quiet evenings with.
I am not so sure all this "love" talk is so true - in any case very many (maybe most) marriages in India, Arabia and Europe - well, in most post-hunter-gatherer societies - for most of the last several centuries were NOT primarily for "love". - Obviously one would prefer a partner with compatible views (same culture and language helps a lot). AND with fine income potential (even if that partner is supposed to take care of the kids later): he/she can bring money home before+after and part-time. Tough luck with that , if your spouse is mail-order/ beach-pick-up from Thailand, Morocco or Guinea. - Otoh: If you met in an US-college, the passport of your spouse will usu. matter: zilch.
One more thing (as all my partners and spouses had other passports than mine): I hardly understand the meaning of "love yourself" - thus I agree with Nietzsche: "The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions." - I am myself indifferent honest; but yet I could accuse me of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me: I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offences at my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in. What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves, all; believe none of us. Go thy ways to a nunnery.
Good looks are a good proxy for good genes in general. (And also for good looks in your offspring and good health, success etc.) So even if good looks fade, the attributes they are proxy for don't necessarily fade.
Remember how bad the 2009 stock market was, people complained that they lost half their money, and still had the wife.
You have to get a prenup, the divorce jurisprudence is not adapted to modern society. It was made unfair in common law countries because in the distant past, a judge wanted to tilt people against divorcing.
Getting a prenup will allow the couple to focus on building life together, not on what some judge thought a hundred years ago about what a couple should be.
Your Money or Yourself: This classic YouTube clip will probably only mean much to Brit readers. It is a clip from the hugely popular 90s spoof celebrity interview tv show Mrs Merton starring the great (and sadly recently deceased) comedienne Caroline Aherne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZBbMjBS6Fo
I recently read the book, "No Worries" by Jared Dillian, on how to reduce your stress level with respect to money. One of the comments he made is that the most important financial decision you will ever make is who you marry. Not necessarily that you marry someone who is rich, but someone whose attitudes toward money don't lead to conduct that causes financial stress. Of course, for a man, divorce in the US can be a catastrophic financial event, stressful on every facet of life, but especially financially.
It's not complicated. Marrying someone is a big risk with a lot of unknowns about how they'll treat you in the future.
You want them to remain committed to the marriage and treat you well even if times are hard, you get sick, a better offer comes along, they get bored etc. If they're just marrying you for the money they may leave or treat you badly if you lose the money or if a better offer comes along. And even if they continue to have the money there are plenty of ways to treat your spouse badly and still remain married with access to money.
You want them to like you for something about you specifically so that they'll be committed to you specifically. Even if it's not something that's actually so unique to you as long as they feel like it is that's the important part. If you're both committed to each other you can get through all sorts of hardships, arguments and so on and continue to have a strong marriage.
Of course how relationships, love, and money actually play out can be more complicated. But if the question is just why do people not want to be married just for their money the answer is simple.
Also of course people DO get married just for the money, because in addition to the reasons I stated above there are other reasons to get married and one may override another.
Staying within economics, the contract implied in marriage is very hard to enforce, so being married for your money is a problem. Most people want to be loved, not just now but later as well. If someone can marry you and get access to your money and then do whatever, why believe they will be a good companion or do any of the other things we would expect from someone who loves us? A spouse for whom being with you in their benefit from the marriage is more likely to treat you well, or at least be pleasant to spend the next 60 odd years of quiet evenings with.
I am not so sure all this "love" talk is so true - in any case very many (maybe most) marriages in India, Arabia and Europe - well, in most post-hunter-gatherer societies - for most of the last several centuries were NOT primarily for "love". - Obviously one would prefer a partner with compatible views (same culture and language helps a lot). AND with fine income potential (even if that partner is supposed to take care of the kids later): he/she can bring money home before+after and part-time. Tough luck with that , if your spouse is mail-order/ beach-pick-up from Thailand, Morocco or Guinea. - Otoh: If you met in an US-college, the passport of your spouse will usu. matter: zilch.
One more thing (as all my partners and spouses had other passports than mine): I hardly understand the meaning of "love yourself" - thus I agree with Nietzsche: "The demand to be loved is the greatest of all arrogant presumptions." - I am myself indifferent honest; but yet I could accuse me of such things that it were better my mother had not borne me: I am very proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offences at my beck than I have thoughts to put them in, imagination to give them shape, or time to act them in. What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves, all; believe none of us. Go thy ways to a nunnery.
You are dismissing looks too easily
Good looks are a good proxy for good genes in general. (And also for good looks in your offspring and good health, success etc.) So even if good looks fade, the attributes they are proxy for don't necessarily fade.
Remember how bad the 2009 stock market was, people complained that they lost half their money, and still had the wife.
You have to get a prenup, the divorce jurisprudence is not adapted to modern society. It was made unfair in common law countries because in the distant past, a judge wanted to tilt people against divorcing.
Getting a prenup will allow the couple to focus on building life together, not on what some judge thought a hundred years ago about what a couple should be.
Your Money or Yourself: This classic YouTube clip will probably only mean much to Brit readers. It is a clip from the hugely popular 90s spoof celebrity interview tv show Mrs Merton starring the great (and sadly recently deceased) comedienne Caroline Aherne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZBbMjBS6Fo
I recently read the book, "No Worries" by Jared Dillian, on how to reduce your stress level with respect to money. One of the comments he made is that the most important financial decision you will ever make is who you marry. Not necessarily that you marry someone who is rich, but someone whose attitudes toward money don't lead to conduct that causes financial stress. Of course, for a man, divorce in the US can be a catastrophic financial event, stressful on every facet of life, but especially financially.
I swear I only clicked one time to post this comment. Sorry!
It's not complicated. Marrying someone is a big risk with a lot of unknowns about how they'll treat you in the future.
You want them to remain committed to the marriage and treat you well even if times are hard, you get sick, a better offer comes along, they get bored etc. If they're just marrying you for the money they may leave or treat you badly if you lose the money or if a better offer comes along. And even if they continue to have the money there are plenty of ways to treat your spouse badly and still remain married with access to money.
You want them to like you for something about you specifically so that they'll be committed to you specifically. Even if it's not something that's actually so unique to you as long as they feel like it is that's the important part. If you're both committed to each other you can get through all sorts of hardships, arguments and so on and continue to have a strong marriage.
Of course how relationships, love, and money actually play out can be more complicated. But if the question is just why do people not want to be married just for their money the answer is simple.
Also of course people DO get married just for the money, because in addition to the reasons I stated above there are other reasons to get married and one may override another.